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MIKE GRYNBAUM was abducted by the aliens in his television set years ago. He may have
developed cancer due to years of exposure to TV waves. Somehow, he learned to play a
six-stringed instrument called a guitar. Sometimes he sings. Sometimes he doesn't. Most of the
time he uses his six-stringed instrument on leads. Send money to him; he would be grateful.

CARTER DELLORO is a pissed-off chimpanzee. His best friend is his gay gorilla cousin, who lives in the Duluth Zoo. Carter escaped into the freedom of America when he was six months old. He survived eating bugs off of lawyers in the New York City subway. Once he was shot by a drunk guitar dealer, who gave him a guitar in return. Carter learned how to play the guitar by watching "Sesame Street." He learnt to sing in that godawful way that chimps do. He hopes you will not send money, but instead, lice and bananas.

DAVE CORDES is also known as Tipsy the Drunken Teletubby. He was taught bass by Jaco Pastorius. He's the man, and is really super duper tastic! He s the best ever. THE END.

GILLIAN WEITZ-CLANCY was freshman homecoming queen, but she's not letting it go to her head. When she's not drumming, she becomes delusional and thinks that she's Dana Scully. We're working on that. She can't believe she's stuck in a band with a pissed-off chimpanzee, a Teletubby, and TV addict. Neither can the other guys. or
back home!